The Cheat SheetBy Jay Rigdon on

Well, the day has finally come.

I’m writing about Tim Tebow below. And not even a football-related story. I can only imagine that this will be the day that someone asks me what I do, and I’ll say this, and that, and that I write for The Comeback, everyone’s favorite website. (Note: okay, one of everyone’s five favorite websites.)

And they’ll ask, “Oh, what did you write about?”

And I’ll have to say Tebow. Trying out for baseball scouts, at age 29.

And then they’ll either judge me harshly (which is fine) OR they’ll be excited and want to talk about it. But it’s a story! Even I can realize that. It just shouldn’t be as big a story as it is, in my opinion.

That said, today’s biggest story is a dang shame, so maybe more harmless Tebow stories wouldn’t hurt.

Teddy Bridgewater suffers apparently gruesome knee injury

ARLINGTON, TX - AUGUST 29: Teddy Bridgewater #5 of the Minnesota Vikings looks for an open receiver in the first quarter of a preseason game against the Dallas Cowboys on August 29, 2015 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
ARLINGTON, TX – AUGUST 29: Teddy Bridgewater #5 of the Minnesota Vikings looks for an open receiver in the first quarter of a preseason game against the Dallas Cowboys on August 29, 2015 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

This is the aforementioned dang shame. Promising young Minnesota QB Teddy Bridgewater suffered a very bad knee injury during Tuesday’s practice. How bad? Well, you asked:

The early diagnosis is a dislocated knee and torn ACL. That’s a brutal blow for the Vikings, a popular pick to claim their second consecutive NFC North title. They’re left with the definition of a journeyman backup in Shaun Hill, and could perhaps look to acquire more depth at the position through trade. Not that there’s ever good timing for something like this, but it’s hard to imagine worse timing.

We wish Teddy all the best in his recovery, of course.

#VeteransForKaepernick takes off on social media

SANTA CLARA, CA - OCTOBER 18: Quarterback Colin Kaepernick #7 of the San Francisco 49ers warms up prior to playing the Baltimore Ravens in their NFL game at Levi's Stadium on October 18, 2015 in Santa Clara, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
SANTA CLARA, CA – OCTOBER 18: Quarterback Colin Kaepernick #7 of the San Francisco 49ers warms up prior to playing the Baltimore Ravens in their NFL game at Levi’s Stadium on October 18, 2015 in Santa Clara, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Throughout Anthemgate (as no one is yet calling it, which is good because it doesn’t apply at all seeing as how it’s not referring to any legal wrongdoing AND the whole idea of attaching -gate to everything is ridiculously misguided in the first place, but surely someone somewhere is going to call it that and I want to be on record against it) a common refrain of those looking to bash Kaepernick’s protest without actually expending any thought energy has been “What about the troops?”

Well, a large swath of vets decided to speak out on social media Tuesday, taking up the #VeteransforKaepernick hashtag. In general (though I want to be careful not to characterize all vets as a unified voice for or against an issue, as that’s a major issue) their stance is best represented with a few tweets such as these:

https://twitter.com/LightSkinVader/status/770822864366743553

https://twitter.com/blasianbri_/status/770760106573123584

https://twitter.com/rjmadrid/status/770836039564824576

https://twitter.com/BasedMarcoM/status/770814355642331136

There are many, many more perspectives shared out there, and I’d actually (for once) highly recommend exploring that hashtag. It’s an important reminder, for me, anyway, that the people most pushing the “Support the military!” agenda (as well as co-opting many things about the military in service of football) are, in fact, not in the military.

Tebow holds baseball showcase, socks a few dingers, is still terrible and 29

 

Tim Tebow

Well, we’ve reached the point in the column where I write about Tim Tebow. Here we are, at that very point. I can’t even do it. I’m sorry. It’s like swimming in freshman gym class, when I used to get panic attacks (even though I can swim, I just do it terribly) and I’d lie and say I didn’t have my trunks, and the gym teacher/varsity basketball coach would just give me a withering stare and shake his head.

Here are tweets from those who were there:

And now, a few jokes:

https://twitter.com/jonahkeri/status/770716632033308675?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

https://twitter.com/JATayler/status/770688492548526080

Also, Skip Bayless was there, because apparently he’s now some kind of much creepier version of Pedro Gomez to Tim Tebow’s Barry Bonds. If it one day comes out that he rebuilt his entire persona around Tebow on the advice of Darren Rovell the Internet might implode.

Anyway, Tim Tebow is 29 and despite being a very talented athlete, is not going to become a major league baseball player. If he were going to do that, he’d be one. (#NotAScout)

I’m also bitter as Tebow was basically the lead story on both the MLB Network and the NFL Network, and it’s just gross at this point. Awful Announcing will have a more in-depth exploration of this phenomenon later today, from Ben Koo.

Quick hits

rougned odor wedgie

-Rougned Odor tried to give a wedgie, and then ended up hitting a walk-off dong.

-Dude at 113 pancakes in 8 minutes, which is a record as you might imagine.

-A kid from Last Chance U. is getting a shot at UAB.

-The Royals are selling a (creepy) Rally Mantis mask, for the low, reasonable sum of $45.

-Craig Sager is going to undergo his third bone marrow transplant, thanks to an anonymous donor.

-Cubs star Anthony Rizzo is a cancer survivor, and he wrote a letter and donated $2,500 to the family of a boy battling the disease.

-For a quick break, here’s a guy just owning snakes somehow. I don’t want to know how he ended up tending to a literal snakepit, but my goodness is this nuts:

Danger noodle? Boop the snoot!

–Madden 17 is going to acknowledge Colin Kaepernick’s anthem protest.

-Peyton Manning dropped in a Deflategate (*grinds teeth*) joke at the Rob Lowe roast, and it was pretty solid. That roast also gave rise to this Twitter picture, which is how I’d imagine any close-quarters convo with Ann Coulter to go:

Never has the Manning face been more appropriate.

-Also, speaking of Tom Brady, he spoke. I don’t really care what he said, but look at him:

-Rodney Harrison said Colin Kaepernick wasn’t black, which ESPN’s Sage Steele thought was a shot at people of biracial heritage.

Turns out, that was giving him too much credit: Harrison didn’t know Kaepernick wasn’t white:

 

And, obviously, that shouldn’t have been a factor in any criticism sent Colin’s way, since you don’t have to be black to speak out against bigotry. Not a good day for ol’ Rodney, though it led to this top reply to his tweet:

https://twitter.com/mlse/status/770679579665174528

-Hooray, Chris Berman is going to be calling the late MNF game during the now-traditional opening-week doubleheader! Catch the fever!

-Meanwhile, Mike Tirico is handed Notre Dame fill-in duty while Dan Hicks calls the Fedex Cup golf playoffs.

A fake news headline I wish was real

Man Hasn’t Spoken To Extended Family In 12 Years Over Alleged Family Golf Scramble Cheating

One last glorious bit of procrastination

This is perfect, and I’m behind this dog 100%.

View post on imgur.com

About Jay Rigdon

Jay is a columnist at Awful Announcing. He is not a strong swimmer. He is probably talking to a dog in a silly voice at this very moment.

View all posts by Jay Rigdon