Archives

Every Circus Needs A Clown: Manny Pacquiao Vs. Broner Preview

Well, here we are. The year is 2019 and we’re somehow discussing Adrien Broner as a principle participant in a somewhat meaningful PPV fight. I shouldn’t have to do this. We shouldn’t have to do this. Coming up with a fresh narrative every time Broner decides to put down the nachos, slap on some gloves, […]

Movin’ On Up: Devin Haney Dominates Xolisani Ndongeni

Prospect. Contender. Champion. Star. That’s the arc. Sure, an Olympic pedigree or a famous last name can expedite the process but for anyone who has ever strapped on a pair of gloves and asked to be paid for it, this is the assigned career path. And let’s be honest, most fighters will never make it […]

Lion Down: The Charlos On PBC On Fox

Let’s do some role playing for a minute. No, not that kind, weirdo. Take off the executioner mask and put the cakemixer down. Let’s pretend you run a boxing promotional outfit and you’re using the first card of a new multi-year bajillion dollar deal with national television networks to showcase two extremely marketable twin brothers […]

Tyson Fury Vs Deontay Wilder: I Am The Resurrection

If you saw it in a movie you wouldn’t buy it. You would roll your eyes and bemoan the director’s inability to avoid rote, boxing movie clichés. A story, a fight, and a moment like this could only come from the minds of writers with just the faintest exposure to actual prizefighting. But this was […]

Oleksandr Uysk Vs Tony Bellew: The Excitement Of Invevability

What is it about a concussive knockout that brings people together? How does a left hand thrown from the depths of hell turn a normally vicious shit talker such as Tony Bellew into a gushing superfan of the man who threw it? Why would an arena packed with bloodthirsty Brits stand and applaud the man […]

Canelo Vs. Golovkin 2: Role Reversal

In boxing, nothing is ever over. There is no finality. Every gesture is open-ended, every thought unfinished. The setup is the punch line, the buildup the payoff. In boxing, the medium is the message. Like some type of sadistic Rube Goldberg device, every fight sets up the next. There’s always a rematch or a rubber […]

Amir Khan Plays All The Old Hits, Wins Decision Over Samuel Vargas

Amir Khan is like a puppy chewing on a hand grenade: He’s a threat to anyone who comes near him but he’s just as likely to blow himself to high hell in the process. His ability to create dangerous situations for his opponent is rivaled only by the more precarious ones he creates for himself. […]

Let’s Fix Boxing, Shall We?

If sports were restaurants, boxing would be the rustic, old steakhouse that hasn’t changed so much as a side dish since prohibition. The kind that bills its own reluctance to adapt to modern ideas as “classic.” Sure, the filet mignon is boiled and there’s rats in the bathroom the size of campground raccoons but hey, […]

Stop Hitting Yourself!

The Six Greatest Self-Punches In Boxing History If football is a game of inches, as my friends who enjoy spending their Sundays being hopelessly bored assure me it is, then boxing is a game of seconds. Each tick of the clock is accompanied by countless subconscious computations which direct a fighter’s body to make the […]

Oh Boxing, What Am I Going To Do With You?

If you’re going to get your ass kicked, you might as well get paid for it. Statistically, most of us will have our dicks knocked in the dirt at least once in our lives and we won’t make a cent from it. Hell, some people pay good money to have the shit kicked out of […]

The Giggle Factory: Mikey Garcia Is Good At Boxing

Making truth claims about a sport as unpredictable and fluid as boxing can be journalistic suicide but I’m about to do it, consequences be damned. Before I do however, I want to stress that I’m in no way attempting to talk over your head or use technical jargon meant to intimidate or belittle you. This […]

The Giggle Factory: Superfly 2 Preview And Predictions

If you’re a fan of alliterative metaphors relating to body size and/or learning every conceivable variation of the word “diminutive,” HBO has got a treat for you this weekend. Jim Lampley’s synonym game is rivaled only by his crying-at-everyday-occurrences game and you can bet both will be on display this Saturday at The Forum in […]

Roy Jones And The Death Of The Party

Shortly before his death in 2011, Christopher Hitchens said of his impending mortality, “It will happen to all of us, that at some point you get tapped on the shoulder and told, not just that the party’s over, but slightly worse: the party’s going on — but you have to leave. And it’s going on […]

2017 Knockout Of The Year: Mikey Garcia Vs Dejan Zlaticanin

Boxing fans are, by nature, hipsters. In spite of — but mostly, because of — prizefighting’s ever-waning status in the hierarchy of global athletic concerns, fight fans have developed a dissentient, nonconformist mentality about our sport and toward competition in general. The desire to romanticize the nuances of two adults attempting to separate one another […]

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