Baseball players take an incredibly unfair rap as athletes. They are incredibly athletic. Any baseball player would absolutely blow your doors off in a race. (Your average doors, anyway. If you’re some kind of track superstar, sure, you have a chance. Also thanks for reading.)

But watching this triple play the Red Sox turned against the Cardinals, it’s hard to think that, because Yadier Molina just looks like he’s running in extra-sticky molasses, if that’s actually a thing.

The amazing thing is, though, that Yadi is still relatively fast! It’s just that in the context of an MLB game, he looks really slow now, because the speed of the game is difficult to comprehend without a slower reference point. Yadi is like the train sitting still that lets you know just how fast your train is going.

That said, good lord, that’s not very fast. The Red Sox had forever to turn that triple play. One of the slowest 5-4-3 versions you’ll ever see.

About Jay Rigdon

Jay is a columnist at Awful Announcing. He is not a strong swimmer. He is probably talking to a dog in a silly voice at this very moment.