You may have just come to knowing who LaVar Ball is in recent months, but he has made it a life mission to raise his own big baller sons to basketball glory.

ESPN The Magazine is the latest to give the outspoken father of three a chance to spew his nonsense, and on some level we may be glad they did. If you thought Ball was nuts before, you haven’t seen anything yet. It turns out his ego really does know no limits as he challenges the homeowners association, trains pigeons and says he trained his sons to walk by eight months and potty-trained by 10 months.

LaVar Ball didn’t take kindly to having the homeowners association telling him he couldn’t paint his house white or his garage door black. So Ball painted his house white anyway and eventually painted the garage black too. Now, he is the president of the homeowners association and can do whatever else he pleases, not that he was going to be stopped anyway.

“You see all these houses?” LaVar asks as we pull up to the house where he’s raised and trained three basketball-playing sons who all have a chance to play in the NBA. “You only see one all-white one. That’s because it’s my s—.”

The homeowners association told him he couldn’t paint the house white. And that is not something you say to a Big Baller. So LaVar dug in, told them, “You crazy; this one is going to be white!” And just to show them who was really in charge, he put in a black garage door too.

“You ain’t supposed to have that s—,” he says. “But you know who the homeowners association guy is now, the president?”

Go ahead. Guess.

“That’s f—ing me! Now you gotta come to me to get your house painted!”

LaVar lives life by his own guidance and his own philosophies. He also thinks he calls the shots that are out of his control, like whether or not he was going to have sons or daughters.

“I knew I was gonna have more than one [son],” LaVar says. “I don’t put out no girls. … Me being alpha dog in our family, I’m gonna have boys. Gimme three boys.”

Are you gagging in your mouth yet? It gets crazier.

Now, it should be noted LaVar claims a lot of things that are simply not true, like being able to take on Michael Jordan one-on-one. So odds are this dude wasn’t actually training pigeons, but it makes for a good laugh I suppose.

Before he had sons to work with, LaVar trained “pigeons, dogs, frogs. Anything.”


“Yep,” he says. “I make pigeons just do backflips in the air when I clap my hands like that.”

Even Lonzo busts up laughing at that one.

LaVar keeps going.

“I’m a trainer. That’s my passion,” he says. “It ain’t basketball. My boys, their passion is balling.”

If there is anything that can be said about LaVar’s training style, it is that he has successfully sucked out the joy of exploration and real-world sights from his sons. Lonzo Ball seemed to lament the opportunities presented on a trip UCLA’s men’s basketball team took to Australia last year.

When UCLA took a trip to Australia last year, he was mostly annoyed with all the tourist stuff. “We went on bike rides and climbed a bridge,” he says, sitting in a big leather couch that fills up the family’s living room. “Then we went to, like, 10 different zoos, so it was just a lot of walking, sightseeing. I don’t really like that. I think it’s a waste of time. You can just go on the internet and look at that stuff, to be honest.

“I just like to stay in the hotel and watch movies until we have to practice.”

LaVar Ball’s grand experiment is about to be tested as Lonzo Ball goes through the NBA Draft process. The long-term plan of systematically manufacturing an NBA talent has come to fruition for LaVar Ball, even if it sucked the simple joys of sightseeing from the first experimental player to come through the Big Baller Brand.


About Kevin McGuire

Contributor to's College Football Talk, Athlon Sports and The Comeback. Host of the No 2-Minute Warning Podcast on iTunes, Stitcher Radio and iHeart Radio. FWAA member and Philadelphia-area resident.