The beginning of each new year brings an annual look at which cool gadgets we may or may not be getting a chance to buy or drool over in the months to come. The Consumer Electronics Show, or CES, is an annual convention in Las Vegas where tech companies from various industries show off their new toys that can be practical and help make your life more convenient or wildly expensive gadges which only the elite of the elite will buy out of the SkyMall catalog on their next overseas flight.
This year’s CES was certainly not short on wild and crazy new ideas that may start crossing over into our everyday lives soon. But there were also plenty of gadgets that left some wondering whether or not we actually need these devices in our lives.
Jeff Goldblum’s line from Jurassic Park as Ian Malcolm pretty much sums it up perfectly.
So with that in mind, let’s take a look at five of the worst or pointless contraptions to be seen at CES this year.
The $6,000 Toilet from Kohler
Look, nobody should be opposed to a toilet that will warm the seat for you, but do we really need a toilet that plays music? Not everything in your home needs the ability to play your music library at any given moment. But the Numi from Kohler will do that for you if you so desire when you are sitting upon your throne. But for $6,000, is that really the most aesthetic design Kohler could throw together? The whole thing looks more like a wastebasket in the office than a toilet.
True, this toilet comes with a few more bells and whistles to satisfy your sanitary needs, including a wireless remote control, and it is also enabled for Bluetooth. Somebody at Kohler may be a big fan of The Big Bang Theory.
Fun Puppy suitcase and the CX-1 suitcase
For those who travel frequently, having the ideal suitcase to take with you is essential. You don’t want to worry about lugging around some suitcase that becomes a major hassle every time you go to the airport. The addition of wheels to suitcases was designed to make travel easier, but we know sometimes your suitcase can still get a little wonky.
The Fun Puppy suitcase and the CX-1 suitcase are here for you to try and make this just a little less cumbersome. These smart suitcases will actually follow you around at the airport as you make your way to the terminal with your hands already full as you rush your way to the departing gate.
Great. So now, not only do I need to look out for you as you wander aimlessly through the terminal on your phone, but now I have to watch out for your suitcase too? I hope you get stuck next to a crying baby on your flight.
Petrics Smart Pet Bed
I love my dog. I love your dog. Look, I’m just a lover of dogs, and I want nothing the best for every dog. I will, however, draw a line somewhere when it comes to my dog’s well being.
For example, the Petrics smart pet bed looks like a comfortable bed for your lovable pet, and that’s great. But slap this collar on your dog, load up the app on your phone and get detailed analysis of how well your dog is sleeping. Perhaps you may be surprised by the findings and want to adjust your dog’s sleeping environment. There is nothing wrong with making sure your dog is as comfortable as possible, especially when sleeping. But somewhere between $100 and $300 for this bed system feels a bit extreme.
My dog sleeps sprawled out with half of her body in her bed and half out. I think she sleeps just fine.
Dreem sleep headband
While on the topic of sleep, let’s talk about humans who struggle to get in a good night’s sleep. Many people have sleep disorders or other issues trying to catch their Zs, and sometimes you need to buy something that will help improve your sleeping habits, be it a new mattress, a new pillow, breathing strips, or perhaps something to place over your eyes to help your senses.
But what if I told you for the low, low price of €499 in Europe, you could buy a bar that is placed over your head?
This product from France claims to aid your breathing and help with breathing exercises to help maintain sleep. I can already tell right now there is no way that thing would last five minutes on my head while I’m trying to get some sleep. And for that price, I’m going to need this thing to tell me a bedtime story, tuck me in, and get me my coffee in the morning after an insufferable night of trying to sleep with this bar strapped across my forehead.
With the rise in popularity of Bitcoin, Kodak has introduced its own cryptocurrency with the purpose of reimbursing photographers who have had their images stolen. The Kodakcoin somehow sifts through the internet in search of any potential photos that should result in payments to the original photographer. The internet is a vast wasteland of content. How effective this will ultimately be remains to be seen, as will just how many photographers take Kodak up on the opportunity to rent this strange contraption with the hope of earning some of Kodak’s new form of currency.
But hey, it’s good to know Kodak is still kicking.