Well, nothing much happened last night, huh? If you didn’t stay up for it, Kobe went out with a 60 (!) point game AND Golden State beat Memphis to set the NBA’s all-time record for regular season wins. On top of that, the puck dropped on the NHL playoffs, and we had our first overtime playoff hockey of the year, something which is never, ever exciting.
Kobe goes out with a vintage Kobe game
First of all, how in the world do you choose the lead story today? Even the leader of the free world recognized the Sophie’s Choice involved:
Big night of basketball – @Warriors chasing 73 and a farewell for an
all-timer, @KobeBryant. NBA fans feeling like: pic.twitter.com/hvno2ZO5b0— President Obama (@POTUS44) April 14, 2016
In the end, the way Kobe went out took precedence. Throughout a 20-year career, Kobe has carefully cultivated a reputation of solo dominance, and everyone watching expected him to take quite a few shots last night, as there were no more shots to be had the next day. And that proved true. What was perhaps a surprise, considering his age, and the woes of the Laker season, was that he put up 60 points. That’s 6-0. It was truly incredible, and perhaps unsurprisingly, he needed 50 shots to do it, meaning he set his record for field goal attempts in a game in his final game. If there’s a more fitting way for him to go out, I don’t know what it would be.
Even for myself, someone who has never been the world’s foremost Kobe supporter, it was awesome. He’s not always the most lovable athlete, for a variety of reasons, but my goodness, I was laughing to the point of intense coughing (yay flu!) by myself in my apartment.
The night started with a pretty sweet tribute, featuring plenty of cameos.
Respect. 🐍 https://t.co/Kg8KIVzq1B
— NBA TV (@NBATV) April 14, 2016
And then, Kobe took over.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=EzpsyFvz7W0
It actually felt as though the Jazz were going to win for a long stretch of the game, but late, when Kobe actually turned back the clock fully and became unstoppable, the Lakers clawed back and made Kobe’s final minutes (and points) meaningful.
Well, as meaningful as the 82nd game of the season between two teams already eliminated from playoff contention can be.
Golden State wins 73, Curry hits 400 3’s; All hail our new basketball overlords
You know how, with stories that have been covered extensively, oftentimes writers will do the written equivalent of throwing their arms in the air, writing things like “What else is there to say?”
Well, with this story, that’s where I’m at. It’s a deservedly huge story, and has been since the beginning of the season. Last night, it culminated with Golden State defeating the Memphis Grizzlies. If you’ve somehow missed it up to now, that was their 73rd win. That’s the record, folks. The 1995-96 Bulls, with their 72 wins, are now in second place. (Between this and how Kobe went out, I absolutely guarantee Michael Jordan spent at least ten minutes contemplating the logistics of a return.)
Steph Curry obviously wanted to hit the 400 3-pointer plateau, as evidenced by his first quarter, where he took, well, his sort of shots.
https://twitter.com/TheCauldron/status/720447487568441344
And this was when he hit the mark:
https://twitter.com/CauldronICYMI/status/720463236160757761
We’ll have a lot more on this today, and it will be much better than what I have for you here. Because, at this point, for me specifically: what else can you say?
Hockey Playoffs!
– It’s already time for the NHL playoffs. Three games kicked things off (wrong sport) last night, and we got the ball rolling (wrong sport again) with an overtime affair between the Blackhawks and the Blues. If you need a refresher on the virtues of overtime playoff hockey:
why watch overtime playoff hockey when you can simply snort cocaine and ride a motorcycle out of a helicopter
— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) April 17, 2014
That ended badly for the Blackhawks, as they lost 1-0. (Sorry, Matt Clapp.)
-The Penguins beat the Rangers 5-2, and making matters worse, Rangers netminder Henrik Lundqvist took a stick to the eye and had to leave.
–The Lightning beat the Red Wings 3-2. Here’s where I’ll confess that I am far from a hockey fan. I do love playoff hockey, but I don’t really tune in until this time each year. My sports calendar is pretty full as it is. I only bring this up because I don’t have anything to add on this game, and I feel bad about that, but I don’t want to pretend to know more than I do. Here’s what I have: my Tampa-based grandma once gave me a Lightning jersey. That was pretty cool.
Quick Hits
-Inky the Octopus pulled an Andy Dufresne and escaped back to the ocean. At least that’s what the experts at the National Aquarium of New Zealand think happened. I certainly want to believe that’s what happened. These things are amazing creatures, and I will believe absolutely anything I read about them. Octopus predicted the World Cup? Of course. Octopus escapes down a drainpipe to the ocean? Sold. Octopus wrote the script for Batman V. Superman? Okay, no, I don’t believe that one. They’re much too smart to have written that.
-Here’s a fun story about Jeremy Lin helping out with a mistaken Chinese tattoo.
-Hey, an Ole Miss booster inadvertently blew his own whistle. Though I find this funny, I’ll also note that most NCAA violations are ridiculous and rules should be relaxed.
-Here’s Steph Curry’s 20 most ridiculous shots of the season. Have fun going down that rabbithole. It’s somehow less grounded in reality than Alice in Wonderland.
-Over at Awful Announcing, our Ben Koo continued his 30 for 30 review series with a look at This Magic Moment, in itself a look at the Penny/Shaq Orlando Magic, which airs tonight at 9 PM Eastern. Here’s the trailer:
-Baseball nerd post: Fangraphs took a look at how the Cubs might be the most patient lineup ever. Author August Fagerstrom was proven even more correct a few hours after that post went up, as the Cubs knocked out Reds starter Alfredo Simon in the first inning, after making him throw 49 pitches. The Cubs drew 10 walks, and went on to win 9-2.
One Last Breath of Gratuitous Procrastination
When I try to wake up my GF from a nap to follow up with plans we made
Calvin and Hobbes wasn’t kidding, folks. Tigers do not like to be surprised when they’re sleeping. Also the kid’s reaction is easily the best part.
