There’s a great quote in the Netflix show GLOW (RIP) from Marc Maron’s character Sam Sylvia: “Ideas are cheap. Everyone’s got ideas. Your idiot butler probably has ten Oscar-winning ideas.”
This a not-so-subtle reminder that sometimes an immense gulf exists between coming up with an idea and successfully executing that idea. Cocaine Bear, much like Snakes on a Plane, belongs in the pantheon of good ideas poorly executed. Yes, we’re all in on the joke. This B movie is intended to be harmless entertainment. However, even escapist fare should make it worth your while.
Cocaine Bear is a horror-comedy that’s mostly neither scary nor funny. Instead, it feels like an assortment of half-baked characters in a collage of absurdities. Such a shame because it might have worked as a satire of bad filmmaking if it weren’t so, um, bad. There’s too much slapstick, such as the ambulance scene when the audience is probably wondering: “Am I supposed to laugh at this?” Not good.
Imagine what the pitch meeting for Cocaine Bear was like. Did it get greenlit solely based on the title? Gotta admit, it’s catchy. Plus, it’s based on a true story. With a name like that, who wouldn’t want to see it? Throw in a few recognizable actors (Keri Russell, O’Shea Jackson Jr., and the late Ray Liotta) and watch the box-office dollars roll in. The good news for director Elizabeth Banks: Cocaine Bear did well at the theatres over the weekend. The bad news is that the title of the movie is more interesting than the film itself.
The real-life story of Cocaine Bear is bizarre. According to The New York Times, a 175-pound black bear died of an apparent drug overdose after discovering a batch of cocaine. The drugs were reportedly dropped by a convicted smuggler who died in Knoxville, TN while parachuting. This revelation begs for additional details and is the foundation for what could have been a compelling narrative. Imagine if Quentin Tarantino wrote a screenplay with this as his source material. It probably would have been bold, flashy, and delightful.
Instead, Banks and screenwriter Jimmy Warden resort to camp. That’s fine, but you have to strike the right tone, and Cocaine Bear is more than a few notes off. The disjointed flow never seems to pull you into the story. The CGI bear unleashes cartoonish violence, leaving a trail of mauled bloody limbs of characters that aren’t well-developed. You don’t care if these people live or die. You’re just waiting for something cool to happen.
And it never happens.
Don’t blame the kids. The children in this movie are good, especially Brooklynn Prince, who plays Dee Dee. You might remember Prince from her exceptional performance in The Florida Project. She provides some comic relief and could have used more screen time. And don’t blame Liotta. This was the final role for the longtime star who passed away in May 2022. As writer Paul Thompson summed up in GQ, few actors have portrayed men living on the edge better.
Not surprisingly, Liotta is the most compelling figure in Cocaine Bear. One of the few joys is waiting for simmering Liotta to reach his boiling point. He’s a lot more terrifying and fun than the bear.
Banks told the Today show that she first read the script at the height of the pandemic and wanted to do something “chaotic.” She described the making of the film as cathartic. Totally understandable. With a title like Cocaine Bear, we expected something bonkers.
Unfortunately for the film, it’s an idea that falls short of delivering something special.
