You can live your life however you want, so long as you live by one simple rule. Don’t mess with Red Panda.

Rong Niu, otherwise known as Red Panda, is arguably the most iconic and beloved halftime performer in America. The fourth-generation acrobat from China has been seen in NBA, NHL, and college basketball arenas as well as on “America’s Got Talent,” just to name a few places. Wherever she’s performing, she’s universally beloved and is recognized as the GOAT, though whether that’s as a halftime performer or unicycling juggler it is unknown. Perhaps both?

So when news broke Wednesday that some monster stole her seven-foot unicycle at San Francisco International Airport, people got mad as hell. And honestly, for a performer who has entertained millions for years, that anger is with good reason.

“She’s heartbroken,” her agent, Pat Figley of San Francisco-based Farallon Entertainment, told KTVU on Wednesday. ”It’s like her baby was kidnapped. She’s had that unicycle for 30 years.” 

She’s now back out on the road, but she’s on a backup unicycle. And it’s not the same.

“She’s doing horribly,” Figley said. “She’s dropping balls. She’s just not used to it. The one that was stolen was custom built for her.”

According to Figley, it’s possible that someone grabbed the unicycle by mistakes (as you do) but they’re offering a $2,000 reward for its safe return, no questions asked.

In the meantime, The Internet is ready to throw hands.


About Sean Keeley

A graduate of Syracuse University, Sean Keeley is the creator of the Syracuse blog Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician and author of 'How To Grow An Orange: The Right Way to Brainwash Your Child Into Rooting for Syracuse.' He has also written non-Syracuse related things for SB Nation,, Curbed Seattle and many other outlets. He currently lives in Chicago.