Next Sunday (Feb. 4), professional football teams will represent Boston (generally) and Philadelphia in a battle for NFL superiority. The New England Patriots and Philadelphia will play to bring home the Vince Lombardi Trophy as the winners of Super Bowl LII.

But what if the cities were forced to represent themselves? What if the Vince Lombardi Trophy was awarded to whichever team’s city is cooler? Here’s our (tongue-in-cheek) comparison of Boston and Philly. (Winners in bold.)

Nickname

Boston: Beantown
Philly: The City of Brotherly Love

Baked beans are good, but they don’t stand a chance. Philadelphia is quite literally Greek for brotherly love. William Penn named it that in hopes that anyone living there could worship freely, without the religious persecution he encountered as a Quaker. Pretty sweet.

Population (metro)

philly-city-river

Boston: 4.6 million
Philly: 6.1 million

Boston’s city population is higher, and it’s a little more dense. So this is a tough call, but that 1.5 million-person gap is too much.

Weather

Boston: Average summer high of 75 degrees, average winter low of 28 degrees
Philly: Average summer high of 79 degrees, average winter low of 36 degrees

Boston also gets more rain and nearly twice as much snow.

Famous features

Boston: Harvard and MIT, Fenway Park and the Freedom Trail
Philly: Also an educational hub, as well as an art hub (murals!), and the original U.S. capital… plus the Liberty Bell

liberty-bell-philadelphia

The freakin’ Declaration of Independence was signed in Philly.

Top celebrities

Boston: Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Ben Affleck, Conan O’Brien
Philly: Will Smith, Tina Fey, Grace Kelly, Bradley Cooper, Kevin Hart, Pink

Philadelphia actually has a deeper roster of modern-day celebs, while getting a ton of credit for Princess Grace.

Hottest celebrity

Boston: Eliza Dushku
Philly: Amber Rose

To each his/her own, but I’m the judge and jury here. New England is on the board.

Signature food

Boston: Clam chowder
Philly: Cheesesteaks

One is a lot more appealing to the masses than the other.

Music presence

Boston: Ranked 38th in the United States
Philly: Ranked 32nd

Boston’s large classical music presence isn’t enough to save it against the famously soulful Philadelphia.

Top movies

Boston: The Departed, The Fighter, The Town, Good Will Hunting, Mystic River, Spotlight
Philly: Sixth Sense, Philadelphia, Rocky, Silver Linings Playbook

A lot more drama in Boston, with Good Will Hunting providing the icing on the cake. Philly gets some love for TV’s It’s Always Sunny, but Boston had Cheers.

Per capita income

Boston: $37,311
Philly: $22,874

A big edge for Boston, but not enough to complete the comeback.

The final tally

Boston: 3
Philly: 7

So congratulations, Philadelphia. Even if your Eagles lose next Sunday, you can brag that you’re way cooler than the city that defeated you.

About Brad Gagnon

Brad Gagnon has been passionate about both sports and mass media since he was in diapers -- a passion that won't die until he's in them again. Based in Toronto, he's worked as a national NFL blog editor at theScore.com, a producer and writer at theScore Television Network and a host, reporter and play-by-play voice at Rogers TV. His work has also appeared at CBSSports.com, Deadspin, FoxSports.com, The Guardian, The Hockey News and elsewhere at Comeback Media, but his day gig has him covering the NFL nationally for Bleacher Report.