Full disclosure, I am a graduate of Syracuse University who has spent years rooting actively against everything Georgetown athletics does. But even if I didn’t go to Syracuse, I would now have a reason to dislike Georgetown.

The Hoyas (by the way, what is a Hoya exactly?) are hosting a #MillennialDay.

You have got to be kidding me.

At said #MillennialDay, Georgetown will be both celebrating things millennials have and have not “killed.” Here is the official press release:

At #MillennialDay, you can expect only the most #awesome giveaways (because millennials expect everything to be free) and the most hella cool activities. So that everyone feels welcome at Shaw Field, a #dabbing safe space will be roped off, as well as a halftime naptime break if you ~can’t even~ stay awake for the whole game.

If you’re #thirsty, enter the raffle for a DC area juice gift card. As long as you’re like, basically on time for the game, you will be greeted with not only words of praise but also a PARTICIPATION TROPHY because all #millennials are #special. And for all your social media needs, our mascot, Jack the Bulldog, will be available to take some #Kardashianworthy pregame selfies that you can take and post for either during the game or for a hype #tbt.

Okay. I don’t know where to start because I got angrier as I read the release, so I’ll start at the top and go from there.

First off, I am from California and the use of the word “hella” in this release is offensive. Hella is mostly used by people in Northern California and its place in this release is pointless. I never hear any “millennials” use the word hella on the East Coast and I’m pretty sure I first heard the phrase from a “baby boomer” so it has no rightful place in this terrible event.

Second, dabbing is bad. End of story.

Third, a halftime naptime break!? Oh, so Georgetown is trying to be all Dr. Seuss like right now with the rhyming. As a so called “millennial,” I have yet to take a successful nap in 2017 (I usually get distracted by avocados) so the idea of a halftime naptime is not only silly, but once again, offensive.

Fourth, #why #do #they #use #so #many #hashtags #in #this #release?

Fifth, okay the juice gift card is pretty sick I would want to win it.

Sixth, A PARTICIPATION TROPHY!? I’m pretty sure people other than “millennials” think those are stupid trophies. Just being a fan who shows up to a game doesn’t mean they should receive one. But if Georgetown thinks showing up to something means you deserve a participation trophy, well then I should also receive one for writing this article. @My editors, please send me a participation trophy.

Seventh, if we are talking #KardashianWorthy pregame selfies, does that mean there will be a bunch of people standing by to like your picture after you post it? After all, Kim got over 1.4 MILLION likes for this picture of a cat and we all know dogs are better than cats.


A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Aug 10, 2017 at 11:42am PDT

Okay rant over.

Full disclosure again, this will be the only time I ever applaud Georgetown and because of that I hope Syracuse doesn’t take away my diploma. In all seriousness, bravo Georgetown Athletics for a fantastic idea for a promotion and a brilliant press release skewering millennial stereotypes. This is a really funny idea that I wouldn’t be surprised to see other colleges and maybe even pro teams mimic down the road.

[For The Win]

About David Lauterbach

David is a writer for The Comeback. He enjoyed two Men's Basketball Final Four trips for Syracuse before graduating in 2016. If The Office or Game of Thrones is on TV, David will be watching.