FeaturedNFLOriginalsBy Michael Grant on

So, you’ve decided to watch the National Football League. Congratulations! In the immortal words of Jim Mora Sr., “You think you know, but you don’t know, and you never will.” Unless you have access to the official NFL script, we’re all just speculating. 

What we do know…

Aaron Rodgers has become the Hollywood cliché of a small-towner with big dreams moving to New York City. Meanwhile, Tom Brady is living out the fantasy of every divorced, middle-aged man by becoming an NFL minority owner and spending more time in Las Vegas. Sean Payton is back from a sabbatical. Calvin Ridley is back from a suspension. And running backs can’t get paid.

The Baltimore Ravens finally gave Lamar Jackson a good salary, a good offensive coordinator, and good wide receivers. The Houston Texans finally have a Black head coach that they (probably) won’t fire after one season. And the league finally has pushed out the most disliked owner in team sports since Donald Sterling.

More good news: The NFL has ended racism.

Also, do you have a suggestion for a play and want to see it in an NFL game? Talk to Andy Reid. He might use it.

What’s new in 2023?

  • Want to watch all the games? YouTube is the new home for NFL Sunday Ticket. It ain’t cheap, and some people aren’t happy about it. Of course, there are creative ways to save money. Also, what do you do with your old DirecTV satellite dish? It makes for a great guacamole serving bowl.
  • The Washington Commanders have a new owner and possibly a new nickname. Minority stakeholder Magic Johnson hinted at a change as the franchise attempts a rebrand to distance itself from the disastrous Daniel Snyder regime. What about that old racist nickname? Not gonna happen. 
  • Five coaches will make their debuts. Two are recycled. Sean Payton will try to reanimate the corpse of what used to be Russell Wilson in Denver. Frank Reich has been entrusted with No. 1 overall pick Bryce Young in Charlotte. The rest of the coaches are rookies. Former Philadelphia Eagles offensive coordinator Shane Steichen is with the Indianapolis Colts. Former Eagles defensive coordinator Jonathan Gannon is with the Arizona Cardinals. And DeMeco Ryans is in charge of the Houston Texans. We’re a little worried about Gannon.

  • Three rookie quarterbacks will start immediately. Last year, no rookie quarterbacks played in Week 1. This time, Bryce Young, C. J. Stroud, and Anthony Richardson will need to be fast learners. Don’t expect much early because all are on bad teams. Here’s hoping the leaky Panthers offensive line doesn’t put Young in hospice care. 
  • These guys have retired: Tom Brady (we think), J.J. Watt, A.J. Green, Mark Ingram III, Devin McCourty, Russell Okung, Chad Henne, Gerald McCoy, Dont’a Hightower, Byron Jones, and Josh Lambo.
  • New uniform, who dis? As many as 13 teams will show off new looks. Some are better than others. The Colts’ Indiana Nights unis are horrific, but those throwback Tampa Bay Buccaneers threads are sweet. 

The Chiefs are gunning for a rare repeat

No team has won back-to-back Super Bowls in almost 20 years. With more games, more potential for injuries, free agency, the salary cap, and the draft, it has never been harder to be a champion. And yet, the Kansas City Chiefs have the one guy who tilts the odds in their favor.

Patrick Mahomes won it all last year despite no No. 1 wide receiver, a mediocre defense, and a bad ankle. With Mahomes, who has reached the AFC Championship every year since becoming a starter in 2018, the Chiefs are always a contender.

Kansas City could be better— assuming the Chris Jones contract situation gets resolved. This team played with several new faces at wide receiver and in the defensive backfield last year. You might surprised to learn that the Chiefs have the seventh-youngest team in the league. What could derail their title hopes? A critical injury to Mahomes (of course) or Travis Kelce. The revamped offensive line not jelling. Or the defense regressing. But Kansas City will have a shot at doing what hasn’t been done since the New England Patriots of 2003-04.

Are the Lions ready for primetime?

Speaking of the Chiefs, they will host the Detroit Lions on Thursday night.

The Lions were a feel-good story in 2022, rallying to finish 9-8. They have a cartoonish coach who looks and acts like a pro wrestler. They have an underdog quarterback who was kicked to the curb. And they have a long history of ineptitude. Now, they are the betting favorite to win the NFC North. It helps that Aaron Rodgers is no longer in Green Bay, and the Minnesota Vikings are likely due for a regression to the mean. But Detroit still doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. That defense was bad last year (25.1 points per game). In the draft, they may have reached for Alabama running back Jahmyr Gibbs by taking him No. 12 overall. Plus, wide receiver Jameson Williams will miss the first six games due to a gambling policy suspension.

Seems like a lot to ask for a franchise that hasn’t won a playoff game since George Bush was president. That’s George H.W. Bush, not his son George W. Bush.

Guys with something to prove

Russell Wilson, QB, Denver Broncos – No player was more disappointing in 2022 than Wilson. The Broncos traded away a lot and paid a lot for a 34-year-old who already looks like a shell of himself. New coach Sean Payton will have the authority to bench Wilson if he doesn’t improve.

Dak Prescott, QB, Dallas Cowboys – He threw a league-leading 15 interceptions despite missing five games. Combine that with Dallas’ playoff losses to the San Francisco 49ers and a looming $60 million cap number in 2024, Prescott is under pressure to have success, both in the regular season and postseason.

Mekhi Becton, RT, New York Jets -The team declined to pick up his fifth-year option, which is all you need to know. The former 11th overall pick in 2020 has been an injury-plagued bust. Drafted to be a left tackle, he is now on the right side. The Jets are counting on him to protect Aaron Rodgers.

Kadarius Toney, WR, Kansas City Chiefs – After being traded from the New York Giants, Toney fared well in limited action with the Chiefs last year. His most memorable play was a Super Bowl-record 65-yard punt return. The big issue for Toney is health. After knee surgery in July, he is expected to play Thursday Night.

Chase Young, DE, Washington Commanders – Yet another player who had his fifth-year option declined. Young needs to prove he can stay healthy. He is questionable for Week 1 with a shoulder injury. The 2020 Defensive Rookie of the Year has appeared in 12 games with 1.5 sacks over the previous two seasons.

10 things that may happen…

  • The Vikings finish with a better points differential but have a worse record.
  • The Atlanta Falcons are this year’s version of the 2022 Vikings, but will actually win a playoff game.
  • Beset by another Niners kicker injury, Christian McCaffrey attempts at least one field goal in the season-opener at Pittsburgh. 
  • After a 1-3 start against a brutal schedule, Aaron Rodgers demands that the Jets sign Jordy Nelson.
  • Jerry Jones replaces Mike McCarthy with Deion Sanders after the Cowboys don’t reach the NFC Championship Game.
  • Derrick Henry rushes 40 carries in a game and is waived the next day.
  • Bill Belichick brings in Taylor Swift as a consultant after the Patriots fumble six times in the rain at Gillette Stadium.
  • Geno Smith reverts to New York form and gets punched in the face by Jamal Adams.
  • The tanking Arizona Cardinals lose at Philadelphia 61-7 in Week 17.
  • The Chiefs’ spinning huddle play results in a Mahomes touchdown catch.

Awards

MVP: Patrick Mahomes (Kansas City Chiefs)

Offensive Player of the Year: Garrett Wilson (New York Jets)

Defensive Player of the Year: Micah Parsons (Dallas Cowboys)

Comeback Player of the Year: Calvin Ridley (Jacksonville Jaguars)

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Bijan Robinson (Atlanta Falcons)

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Christian Gonzalez (New England Patriots)

Coach of the Year: Mike Tomlin (Pittsburgh Steelers)

A Super Bowl TV executives can root for: Kansas City Chiefs vs. the Dallas Cowboys

About Michael Grant

Born in Jamaica. Grew up in New York City. Lives in Louisville, Ky. Sports writer. Not related to Ulysses S. Grant, Anthony Grant, Amy Grant or Hugh Grant.

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