The Florida Man will never leave you wondering just how crazy he can get. The latest Florida Man story from this weekend witnessed a man do severe damage to a liquor store, but he had quite the explanation for why he did what he did.

Matthew Jones, 32, broke into a construction site and went for a demolition joy rid on a forklift. As you can imagine where this story is going, he did a number on the construction site for a liquor store at a local Walmart. Jones destroyed the site with the use of the forklift, racking up $128,000 in damages.

According to a report from WEAR;

A press release from the CPD said the suspect’s rampage damaged scaffolding and materials, block and mortar, the forklift itself, a fire hydrant and water meter that belong to the city, and more.

And that was just the beginning. As officers began to respond to the scene, Jones reportedly aimed the forklift at officers. Officers pulled their guns and managed to detain Jones, who identified himself to authorities as Alice in Wonderland. In that same vein, Jones reportedly explained his behavior by claiming he was only taking instructions from a “hookah-smoking caterpillar.” Yeah, that’s a doozy.

Jones was charged with grand theft, use of motor vehicle to damage property in excess of $1,000, criminal mischief with damage greater than $1,000 and violation of felony probation.

Judging by his actions, it sounds like he could have been charged for some sort of drug or alcohol offense, but there is no report of such charges or any use of some sort of drug use or alcohol consumption.

That may be the most shocking development in this story.


About Kevin McGuire

Contributor to Athlon Sports and The Comeback. Previously contributed to Host of the Locked On Nittany Lions Podcast. FWAA member and Philadelphia-area resident.