Jordan Noyes kicker Credit: ESPN

The Colorado State Rams almost shocked the college football world on Saturday night when it seemed like they might upset Deion Sanders’ Colorado Buffaloes, though they ended up falling short in double overtime.

The only thing that might have shocked college football fans more might have been the realization that CSU kicker Jordan Noyes is 31 years old and has three children.

The revelation came as Noyes lined up for a critical field goal attempt during the second half of the intense rivalry game, thanks to ESPN play-by-play commentator Mark Jones.

“Married with three children,” said Jones as Noyes got ready.

The Kent, England native is actually the second-oldest player in college football heading into 2023 behind only ECU’s Luke Larsen, who is also 31 but a few months ahead. Noyes actually spent three seasons at Utah where he appeared in 30 games before transferring to Colorado State as a graduate student.

He went 5-for-5 on extra points on the evening, though his 52-yard field goal attempt was blocked.

The college football world had a field day with the news when they learned it Saturday night.

“Did Mark Jones just say CSU’s kicker is married w/ 3 kids? How old is he???” tweeted Jemele Hill.

Colorado State kicker is 31 and has 3 kids,” tweeted Dabolls Burner. “Get off the field and take care of ur family bro.”

“On loan from Manchester United,” said Cujo Knows.

“Bro did all the side missions first,” said Bro Katan.

[CJ Fogler]

About Sean Keeley

Along with writing for Awful Announcing and The Comeback, Sean is the Editorial Strategy Director for Comeback Media. Previously, he created the Syracuse blog Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician and wrote 'How To Grow An Orange: The Right Way to Brainwash Your Child Into Rooting for Syracuse.' He has also written non-Syracuse-related things for SB Nation, Curbed, and other outlets. He currently lives in Seattle where he is complaining about bagels. Send tips/comments/complaints to