Well, it’s settled: The lords of the Tecmo Bowl arcade game have spoken, and the Carolina Panthers are going to win the Super Bowl.
Here’s how it’s going to happen, according to Tecmo Bowl’s simulation:
Carolina will score first on a long Cam Newton completion to Ted Ginn. The Panthers will hold that lead through the end of the third quarter, thanks to a sack from Charles Johnson, a C.J. Anderson fumble, and a Kurt Coleman interception. There will be a long, extremely weird halftime show. The Panthers will extend their lead to 10-0 with a fourth-quarter field goal, which will feel especially important minutes later when Ronnie Hillman scores for the Broncos to make the score 10-7. Carolina will then ice the game with a Jonathan Stewart touchdown run.
The final score, according to Tecmo Bowl, will be 17-7 Panthers.
The stats, meanwhile, will be ugly.
Apparently neither quarterback will complete half his passes, and neither team will hit double digits in first downs. Here’s the full video:
At this point, why even play the game, right?