Derek Jeter’s One Night Stands Receive Parting Gifts

Derek Jeter

For most women, sleeping with Derek Jeter is among the highlight of their sexual career.

Bedding a five-time World Champion, All-Star, multimillionaire, and certain first-ballot Hall of Famer gives them eternal bragging rights over their friends who may not have been able to land suitors nearly as rich or famous.

Of course in the past, after bedding Jeter, women usually only left with a great story to tell their pals. But good news for future Derek Jeter one-night-stands — bedding him now comes with a gift basket. No, really.

Per the always classy New York Post:

“Yankee star Derek Jeter, one of New York’s most eligible hunks since his split with longtime gal pal Minka Kelly, is bedding a bevy of beauties in his Trump World Tower bachelor pad — and then coldly sending them home alone with gift baskets of autographed memorabilia.

The Yank captain’s wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kiss-offs came to light when he mistakenly pulled the stunt twice on the same woman — forgetting she had been an earlier conquest, a pal told The Post.

“Derek has girls stay with him at his apartment in New York, and then he gets them a car to take them home the next day. Waiting in his car is a gift basket containing signed Jeter memorabilia, usually a signed baseball,” the friend dished.”

I’ve gotta say, this is a first. I’ve never known anyone who has a one night stand to give the other party anything except a hearty handshake and a halfhearted promise to call or text them at a later time, let alone a gift basket full of personal affects. But I guess when you’re a famous baseball player, you can do things like sign your name on baseballs and give them to your booty calls as you’re shuffling them out the door.

This gets me to thinking though — will this make Jeter more or less popular with the women he’s attempting to squire? On the one hand, it would be pretty neat to score a Derek Jeter signed baseball for your father/brother/boyfriend (if you’re the cheating kind) or for your own personal collection. On the other, that seems pretty strange to accept an autograph from someone you just had carnal relations. It’s also fairly egotistical for the other person to expect that you’d so much as want a reminder of the night the two of you shared.

Of course, this bizarre form of payment for pleasure could have some financial benefits to his paramours. A quick Google search shows that the going rate for a Jeter autographed baseball is around $400. For that, you can buy a plane ticket from New York to Los Angeles for this weekend, one way only, to pursue that modeling career you always talked about or simply enjoy some of that California sunshine.

I am curious as to whether or not other athletes or actors have employed a similar strategy for sending off one night stands. Does Wilmer Valderrama give the ladies he briefly courts a signed headshot that they can frame and someday show their children as a reminder that they once hooked up with the host of “Yo Mama”? Or is Jeter unique in his desire to leave his lady loves with a reminder of the fleeting moments they shared, a piece of horsehide with his name written on it that they can show off to their friends and family…or use to play fetch with their dogs.