Today marks the first time we’ve come to report on the State of the Sports Union at The Comeback. I’m going to try to make it short, as I know some of you are antsy to get back to your daily fantasy lineups.
This was a great year in American sports, and the coming months will be even better. We have a new team, and maybe teams, heading to Los Angeles, because we know that putting more than one NFL team in a city that has, in the past, shown it can’t even sustain enough interest for one is just smart damn business.
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We have to work together, on both sides of the aisle, whether your seats are in the first row or the nosebleeds, to agree on whether the Rams should go back to blue and yellow, or keep the navy and gold they’ve had in St. Louis. We can work together to accomplish this. I believe we are better than our enemies think we are on this.
And speaking of our enemies, I’m happy to remind each and every American that we haven’t talked about flat balls in months.
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We have another scandal on our hands, and one featuring a Hall of Fame quarterback as well; this time a five-year old story about HGH. As a nation, I don’t know if we can handle that kind of across-the-aisle fracturing this time, and I hope we learn from our inflation crisis of 2015 so it never happens again.
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I’d like to congratulate the success and growth in the Bay Area this year. You have done wonders for this national, and brought us together for one historic goal. There is an unstoppable force of historic proportions at out disposal out west, and we are dedicated to embracing the belief that shooting as often as far away as humanly possible is the best thing for this nation right now.
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It’s the best thing for the world right now.
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The heartland had a strong year this year as well, and while we have had to close down shop in one Missouri town, another had unrivaled success. Who said Royalty wouldn’t have a place in America?
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We must congratulate the success of strong American women this year, who have transcended their fields to become household names across the country. From Serena to Ronda to that one we all just learned about who beat Serena—wait, she’s not American, okay never mind—to the one we all just learned about who beat Ronda, it was a great year for women.
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Also, Hillary, yes. Fine.
We saw the greatest team we have in America triumph over the world, led by the best player on the planet and a group of turf-hating trailblazers. We are, through them, the best in the world.
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The best. In the world.
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And still, there is work to be done. Villains and tyrants are still at large around the world, working to undermine fairness, equality and the belief that everything in America is better than everything everywhere else.
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We still have to work on our national health crisis. I have a headache just thinking about the number of injured workers we have at our top levels, some without proper diagnoses, being sent back out to work without so much as a check-up.
This is a crisis, and until we attack this head on with full force, nothing will change.
And yet, as grim as things can be, there is cause for hope.
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There is hope that this year will be the best ever. That a global event will come this summer in Rio whereby Americans can show they are, and forever will be, the best at a bunch of things people only seem to care about every four years when we win.
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Because we will win. We must win.
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Thank you, God Bless you, and God bless the athletes of the United States of America.
