The Arizona Diamondbacks apparently want their fans to eat quite well at Chase Field this season. On Tuesday, the Diamondbacks and food service partner Levy Restaurants announced a number of new menu options at Chase Field this season, and they are…uh, I think “extravagant” is a good enough descriptor.

The headline item on the new menu is pretty clearly the “asada dog”, which the Arizona Republic describes as “18 inches of Schreiner’s hot dog are topped with fries, queso blanco, carne asada, pico de gallo and guacamole and served on a telera hot dog bun.”

Folks, I am here for this. The asada dog will set you back a whopping $28, though, which is nearly enough money to buy a fitted hat (or, a couple of beers and a couple of normal sized hot dogs).

Another awesome option at DBacks games this year is the “steak and ale tots,” which are tater tots topped with cheese sauce, ribeye steak, onions, mushrooms, and sour cream.

Those will only cost a more reasonable $12, however. I’m all about everything but the mushrooms.

The third option I would like to highlight is the”curd & Q burger.” This is a burger (of course), topped with pulled pork and the greatest ingredient of all – fried cheese curds.

That’s the bargain of these three options, coming in at $11.

The team is also going to keep selling their churro dog (woohoo!), which is a churro stuffed in a split long john donut and topped with frozen yogurt, caramel, and chocolate sauce. With all those ingredients, it can’t be bad. Other new food options at Chase this year include a banh mi sandwich, a vegan wrap, and a variety of milkshakes, which are all far less exciting than the Frankenfood options I highlighted above.

[Arizona Republic]

About Joe Lucia

I'm the managing editor of Awful Announcing and the news editor of The Comeback. I also made The Outside Corner a thing for six seasons.