WWE Universal Champion Goldberg is facing Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania 33 this Sunday. Despite only being in three televised matches since 2004 in which two of them lasted 90 seconds and 23 seconds respectively, Goldberg hasn’t been having a great time.

On Edge and Christian’s brand new podcast E&C’s Pod of Awesomeness, Goldberg talked about how the preparation for his storyline rivalry against Brock Lesnar has been apparently brutal.

“I’ll be honest, I’m miserable. I’m absolutely miserable. But my family’s having fun, man. And so, every single thing, every training session, every ART massage that makes me cry, every muay thai session, it’s all worth it, man. It’s just worth it. And, hey, at the end of the day, if I want to smile, I’ll buy a car. That’s how I’m happy. I did, I bought one on the way back from [Survivor Series in] Toronto because I worked my ass off.”

The fact that Goldberg equates buying a car to make himself feel better as I do in going to Taco Bell, Goldberg really comes off as a massive douchebag. And yes, before you say anything, I’m a big enough person to admit to everyone that I probably wouldn’t say that to Goldberg in person because he can easily kick my ass.

Goldberg’s comeback has been a bit of a snoozer. Look at his three matches heading into WrestleMania. At Survivor Series, Goldberg defeated Brock Lesnar in 1:26. Then, Goldberg was in the Royal Rumble match where he was in the ring for a total of 3:21. And then Goldberg had a 23 second match where he defeated Kevin Owens for the Universal Championship. Goldberg has wrestled a total of 5:10 since leaving WWE in 2004.

The storyline has just been terrible in my mind. I know WWE is having Goldberg tear through the WWE roster in short time in order to set up an incredibly very likely WrestleMania loss to Lesnar, but we all know it’s because Goldberg cannot wrestle and is unable to put on a good match unless someone incredibly strong is in there to make him look good. WCW may have been able to hide that huge weakness 20 years ago when the Internet didn’t reveal every single detail of the pro wrestling industry but we all know the real answer by now. Goldberg has the spear and Jackhammer and that’s about it in his wrestling arsenal.

Besides, I remember Goldberg’s match against Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania XX. When fans hated that both were leaving WWE as well as the match being generally terrible. I’m not exactly interested in the same match 13 years later when both are now part-time performers and one of them is now 50-years-old.

One reason Goldberg came back was so his son could see him wrestle. And despite how I thought his comeback has been, I’m not going to fault Goldberg for wanting to do that for his son. Hopefully Goldberg and Lesnar can put together a great match on Sunday.

[Uproxx]

About Phillip Bupp

News and soccer editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. I also do video highlight game coverage for Major League Soccer as well as a freelance writer for hire. Opinions are my own but feel free to agree with them.

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