With Adventures in Babysitting remake, The Disney Channel is ruining a national treasure

You know how everyone has that ONE movie that they can watch a gazillion times and never get tired of? Usually, they also own the movie, but watch it without fail, every time it’s on TV, regardless of time of day.

For me, that movie is Adventures in Babysitting, and yes I own it, and yes I’ve watched it at 2 a.m. on a Wednesday when it was on some random channel because that’s what you do when you have insomnia and your favorite movie of all time is on.

I vaguely remember seeing this movie in the theater when it came out in 1987, with my friend Heather and our sisters (and of course our moms). My older sister and her friend vetoed my princess movie suggestion and insisted we see Adventures in Babysitting instead. Well thank GOODNESS I was vetoed, because Adventures in Babysitting turned out to be one of my favorite movies of all time.

(Side note: even though the movie was PG-13, my poor mom probably had no inkling that she’d be subjecting her six-year-old to Elizabeth Shue dropping the f-bomb on a gang member in Chicago, but her sacrifice was for the greater good of me getting to see the movie with the cool kids.)

But seriously, what’s not to love about the movie? The opening scene is a cinematic masterpiece, Elizabeth Shue’s hair not only doesn’t move, but she can dance and beat you at the Babysittin’ Blues every day of the week (who cares if her legs are locked together at the knee? Don’t be so judgmental, Mike TODDWELL and Sesame Plexer. Side note: Sesame Plexer is the PERFECT name of a sleazy chick, A+ to whoever came up with it).

Since my love for this movie is eternal and I consider it perfection, you can imagine my HORROR when one of my childhood friends, who I forced to watch the movie every time she slept over, tagged me in a post on Facebook about the Disney Channel remaking the movie.

I vehemently object to this. Unfortunately, no one at Disney asked for my opinion. The trailer is about what I would expect, further solidifying my thought that this is going to be hot garbage. Have a look:

First of all, throwing technology into the mix is an affront to humanity. Part of what made the original so badass is that Chris Parker couldn’t ask Siri to summon her a tow truck that she could then PayPal, since she left her purse in Oak Park. These people had REAL problems to overcome. Pay phones were a thing. Second of all, that “don’t mess with the babysitter line”… no. Just no. F- to everyone involved in this remake!!

I realize this is not the first time a classic movie has been remade (nor will it be the last) — Grease and Dirty Dancing being ones I can think of off the top of my head. But as far as I am concerned, I’d rather spike my own Tab with Drano than watch this particular movie.

[H/T Hello Giggles]

About Reva Friedel

Reva is a staff writer for Awful Announcing and the AP Party. She lives in Orange County and roots for zero California teams.